More than once now I've darted from the sanctuary mid-service to retrieve a forgotten item. Our sanctuary is detached from the education wing, so this darting requires a sprint across the church yard. On Sunday I was wearing HIGH heels (not to be confused with regular high heels) when I remembered I had forgotten something. I wonder what the congregants thought as I exited stage right like a teenage gazelle. Is Pastor Katie sick? Does she dislike this hymn? Did someone yell "Cake"? Well...none of those. Yesterday I forgot a prop for the children's sermon. The other time...I forgot my clothes.
At my first baptism in Scottsville it was a busy day. It was a happy day (Easter! Baptism! Decorating the cross! Church family photo!) but one with many moving parts. I think in details, but when there are many I tend to lose track of one or two. Following the baptism I hurriedly made my way to the dressing room only to
not find my dress. "WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?" I whisper-yelled to myself and the skies.
Here's the thing about being a pastor who happens to be a lady: Fishing galoshes aren't made for dress-wearers. Come to think of it I've never seen a trout or bluegill fisherperson hit the rivers in a fashionable frock from Target. I get it, we cool, but still...maybe there's a market for fishing galoshes for the pastor who happens to be a lady?
Anyway...I opted for a t-shirt, shorts, waders and baptismal robe. I would change immediately following the baptism. These waders were a gift of a smaller friend, so they are a bit like tight swimsuit overalls on me. It's a bit o' a struggle to breathe, but we good.
Post baptism it's a goal to get thee back into the sanctuary as soon as possible, so the whole no-clothes situation put me in a serious bind. I had three choices: 1) Channel my inner Petrine self and preach in wet galoshes. 2) Wear regular black robe over t-shirt and shorts. 3) Sprint across the church yard whilst worship continues and search for my clothes in the education building. I chose 3.
Somehow I managed to bring high heels into the changing room, which was a blessing since I could free myself from the swimsuit overalls-galoshes-waders-situation. Clad in a black robe, t-shirt and shorts and patent leather pumps, I bounded across the church yard in search of my grown up clothes. Luckily I found my dress and made my way back to worship in time.
So yes. There's a reason this blog is called Hermeneutics in High Heels.