Every Good Adventure Begins with Cheese

I'm on my way to Scotland as I type...sort of.  My flight is delayed until 2:24a, but it's all good.  I'm grateful the flight wasn't cancelled canceled (in honor of the UK).

And interestingly enough I'm traveling to Scotland because of a trip I took to Turkey!

As a seminary student, I traveled to Turkey with classmates to visit the 7 churches of Revelation.  Allow me to chase a Turkey rabbit for a moment:  If you travel to Turkey, get thyself to Ephesus.  It's a marvel.  Scripture comes alive there.  Please visit Ephesus (!); however, no church could top Thyatira for Katie.  Thyatira is the home of Lydia (Acts 16) and Lydia was likely a pastor of a house church there.  My friend Meg and I were so excited we donned purple cloth for the occasion!

Meg, Katie, and the spirit of Lydia at Thyatira

Fast forward 15 years and Meg (now Dr. Ramey!) has her own travel company.  Meg planned a group trip to Scotland, I signed up, and I'm on my way! (Well, I will be at 2:24a)

I'm excited (!), but I'm nervous too:  This trip is a first for me as I'm traveling alone.  Yes, I know Meg and I'm excited to see her, but I don't know anyone else in the group.  I'm an extrovert, but I still get nervous.  

But, I'm not really traveling alone.  I'm taking little pieces of my friends and family with me (this is the cheesy part):

• Kourtney helped me select a fun crossbody bag with a guitar strap.  I don't understand it, but I like it.  She also helped me buy 40 pairs of shoes for Scotland weather.  I returned 39, but she gets it. 
• Pam sent me 20 pounds (currency!) in the mail to spend.  Queen Elizabeth is burning a hole in my pocket.
• Randi has been educating me on Scottish history, foods, and music.
• Leslie is welcoming me into her Scottish home before I set off with the group.
• Mom listened to me chatter for an hour  while I paced around the airport tonight.  Props to Pat.
• Mary loaned me the best backpack in the world.  It's stylish and the pockets are AMAZING.  I'm of the age that pocket choice and arrangement amaze me.  Mary also drove me to the airport.  Does she have time to drive me to Dulles?  No.  But did she make time?  Yes.  She also helped me book a new flight when the delay made things complicated.  Mary doesn't play.  She offered to drive me to Baltimore and I almost fainted.  Baltimore might as well be California in terms of distance from DC.  True friend alert.

Mary at Dulles.  Only true friends drive you to Dulles and that's the truth.

I'm grateful and excited!  

Lessons Learned From Pulpit-Supplying

At least twice a month I supply preach for churches, which means at least twice a month I'm a church visitor. I'm an extrovert and a pastor, so you'd think it'd be easy; but sometimes it isn't. Like other visitors, I often don't know where to go, which door to choose, or where to sit. I see people looking at me and wondering who I am. Most of the time the stares are innocent, but rarely are they followed up with a greeting.

I don't so much care about Katie getting lost or Katie not being greeted, but I do care about those who've shown up to worship for the first time in awhile (or ever). They are visiting with family, or maybe they're curious about faith. Is Christianity is what they've heard it is (for better or worse)? Maybe a personal crisis brought them back. Maybe they want community. Whatever the reason, they've showed up, so we (the church) have got to bend over backwards to make them feel at home.

This doesn't mean to attack them with weirdness. BE COOL, EVERYONE.

It's not easy being a visitor, which is why I want to celebrate the church where I preached on Sunday. Here's a list of what they did well:

• The Deacon Chair was there to greet me upon my arrival. It was easy to know where to go and what to do, because she was ready for me. Is your church ready for visitors (in person and online)?

• The Deacon Chair introduced me to the worship pastor and worship leaders. Do you seek out visitors and introduce them to others?

• A dad with his young son sat in the back. The dad was baptized last week and was grinning from ear to ear. It was easy to see how the church made him feel at home. Do you make people new to your church feel at home?

• Women and men were leading in every aspect of worship. (Also, don't assume small and/or rural churches are led only by men.)

• After the service, they sought to connect with me. One senior adult showed me his Nationals socks. Another couple talked about living in DC.

• I was immediately invited to lunch with a group of 6 seniors (Boomer, Silent, and Greatest Generation!). They shared about their lives and asked me about mine. Do you welcome people to your table? Invite newcomers to lunch with you? This is a huge deal. Welcoming people to your table is not only fun; it's biblical! Why have we gotten out of the habit?

Which steps forward will you take?

Shout out to this awesome church. May their tribe increase.

PS: Post a greeter in the parking lot (if you haven't already). We truly don't know which of the 12 doors to enter.

I do my best writing when I'm angry.

I do my best writing when I'm angry, and I don't really like being angry.  Go figure.  So, a lot of what I write stays in draft folders and journals because it feels mean, and it isn't particularly helpful to anyone but me.  Some of you somehow combine mean and funny (kudos to you!), but I seem to only be able to combine mean and direct.  This does not seem to be the best combination to compel others, and it reads as self-righteous (and likely is).  

I'm trying to learn to distinguish between righteous anger and unrighteous anger in my life.  I know the difference in definition; it's the application part that gets me.  Also, I seem to be able to combine the two at times.  Is that helpful?  Maybe.  But what is my motivation?  Helping or shaming others? 

Righteous anger is typically anger on behalf of others, anger that sees injustice, anger that wants better for the marginalized.  Unrighteous anger seeks to score points and—indirectly or directly—hopes to shame others.  I'm not really interested in doing that.  Well, if I'm honest, I am a little bit interested in doing that (shaming jerks), but again, it's not really helpful.  It simply encourages me to congratulate myself for not being a jerk (when I'm maybe being a jerk).  Go away irony!  

It's good to write because no matter my feelings or motivations, writing helps me understand what I think and why I think it.  And even if I'm being a jerk, it's good to write the jerkiness down, but it is probably not good to share it with anyone but God.  Maybe it should only be a whiny lament to God, who will no doubt help me see better and through a lens of grace; rather than a whiny rant to you (and everyone!  this is the world wide web!) that is helpful to no one.

So, I'm trying to develop a list of questions for myself that will guide what I post.  Here goes:

• What is my goal here?  
• Am I trying to help bring peace, or am I trying to be clever?
• Am I helping or hurting?
• Am I trying to shame a jerk or am I being a jerk (or both)?
• Is this a prayer of lament meant only for God?

I'm working on this.  I haven't really figured it out, but I'll keep trying.

Gravedigging Pastors

Job descriptions for pastors are a fascinating read. It can be difficult to understand what we do. I get that; but some of the most meaningful work pastors do can't be described on a list.

Tonight I'm thinking of a pastor who helped dig a grave to cut expenses for a family. Funerals can be costly, and not everyone can cobble the funds together to make it happen.

This pastor made it happen.

Pastors are not perfect (not even close!), but some of the best are serving in the early morning hours, before you arrive at the gravesite, before you eat the casserole at the reception. They dig because they love. The best pastors serve humbly out of love.

Never have I seen 'gravedigger' on a job description, and yet this is a pastor who reminds me of Jesus.

My Ordination Can Get a Learner's Permit

This week I'm celebrating the anniversary of my baptism (28 years) and my ordination (15 years).  My baptism can rent a car and my ordination can get a learner's permit, so some reminiscing felt in order.

To prepare for baptism, I got a new outfit at Walmart.  It was peach, white, and light blue and had a matching peach bucket hat (I blame Ug from 'Salute Your Shorts').  The outfit was important to me because we were baptized in our plain-clothes.  I'm a robe-wearing baptizer now, but I like the idea of a plain-clothes baptism—that we die to our regular, 24/7 bucket-hat wearing selves.

Making a profession of faith was a big deal to me.  It wasn't a brave decision; I grew up in the buckle of the Bible Belt (!), but it did feel weighty.  I now know this initial faith decision was preparing me for the next weighty decision 14 years later:  Ordination to gospel ministry.  Knowing no examples of ordained women growing up, I could've scarcely imagined participating in the laying on of hands, much less receiving them.  

But look at God.

My ordination was joyful, but again—weighty.  I have a distinct memory of feeling the heaviness of friends' and family's hands on my head.  What an apt picture of ministry!  So then, having graduated with my Master of Divinity and having survived the ordination council of Calvary Baptist (!), I was then as ready as I could be to begin at Memorial Baptist in Arlington, VA.  

15 years of Christian vocational ministry feels like the right amount, with 3 distinct seasons of serving the Lord.  Each year has been weighty and joyful, full of challenge, fun, doubt, celebration, beauty, and friendship.  I am grateful.  

The most meaningful moments of ministry have been those when I am completely, 100% dependent upon God in the thin places between heaven and earth:  Praying with hospice patients, cradling newborn babies and blessing them, singing with beloved friends in the ICU, sitting with church members as they mourn or doubt, baptizing adults and children new to faith, preaching my own fears and joys.  

In this season, I'm working on relying on God more; for that's when the weight provides meaning instead of stress.  It's taken awhile to learn this.  I still have much to learn, and yet miraculously God gives me opportunities to shepherd those along the way in my current role.  I am still surprised when ministers and friends, often older and wiser, ask for guidance.  It is humbling and weighty and joyful.

I am grateful today for family, friends, and mentors who teach me about Jesus and light the way.  My parents, brothers, and sisters-in-law are dear to me, and bend over backwards to support and love me.  Thank you.  Thank you to all the churches who've been part of my journey.  Each one has blessed me:  Beaver Dam Baptist (KY), Faith Baptist (KY), Calvary Baptist (TX), Memorial Baptist (VA), Scottsville Baptist (VA), and Church at Clarendon (VA).

And most importantly, thanks be to God.

My Uncle Tom

In November, my Uncle Tom had COVID which developed into double pneumonia.  He miraculously recovered and was able to go home, but eventually his health took a turn for the worse and he died on Wednesday.  

I didn't know Uncle Tom was different until I was older.  I only knew he liked to play with toys, and enjoyed coloring with Ben and me.  Slowly I began to understand Tom had special needs.  I don't remember it being spelled out for me; I only remember he was family and that we loved him.

Tom loved his sisters and his parents.  Tom worked for 40 years at a tape factory with his dad.  He liked Batman.  Dairy Queen Dilly Bars were his favorite; Dad would take a bag full to Tom and his friends.  Often we'd visit Tom when I was home for Christmas, and he was either in a great mood or a not-great mood (I can relate). Either way we'd end up getting ice cream.

I am thinking of Tom this evening, and I wanted to tell you about him.  I am grateful for Tom's life, and for my parents for loving him.

40 Favorite Birthday Memories

I once did an entire sermon series on the number 40.  It's everywhere.  Jesus fasted for 40 days.  Moses was atop Mt. Sinai for 40 days.  Jesus ascended 40 days after his resurrection from the dead.  The Israelites wandered for 40 years. 

In scripture 40 signals a kind of change:  After 40 days, the devil departed, Moses left Mt. Sinai, and Jesus ascended.  After 40 years the promised land was within sight.

Maybe that's why turning 40 feels so significant.  What kind of change will it mean for me?

I don't know, but I do know 40 began with a bang thanks to my family, my pastor friends, my DC friends, and my work friends.  Cliché alert:  The best things in life aren't things.  Relationship with God and relationship with others is it.  Nothing compares.  

I'm not sure what's ahead, but I am sure these people, these relationships will continue to enrich my life.  Here are 40 favorite memories to share with you from October 2020:

• Celebrating Mary Dee, Eleanor, and Aunt Katie in Kentucky.  Eating cake made by my sister-in-law Jaime.

                              

• Socially-distanced dining with my parents in Kentucky.

• Finding my Mom's Master's Thesis in the attic.  Major props, Pat. 



• Kourtney popped on down to Beaver Dam while I was in Kentucky because she is an all-star friend.  Here she is with a slotted spoon of her brother's.

• Surprise Harry Potter dinner with my pastor pals.  Gah.  I love them.  

 

• The decor was nothing short of inspiring.  Shout out Dianna.

• The snacks were adorable.  Have yourself a golden snitch.

• Bruce baked this cake from scratch and Alessandra added the Harry Potter lettering.  That chocolate frosting is the best I've tasted.

• Birthday lunch with these all-stars who have dropped everything to help me numerous times. We ate cake (see above) that I put in my trunk for safe-keeping (trunk cake).

• Later that day I forgot about the cake and it...did not survive the trunk.  Sorry trunk cake.

• En route to a work destination I stayed with Bruce and Alessandra in Culpeper.  I also convinced Laura and Kenny to bring their brand new RV and park it in Bruce and Alessandra's yard.  IT WAS AMAZING.

• Jam session at Bruce and Alessandra's house (in masks!)

• Alessandra and Bruce welcome me into their home no less than 4 nights per month as I travel throughout Virginia.  They listen, cook for me, and are two of my favorite people.

• Voting.  Waited 102 minutes.  Worth every one.

• Aunt Mary sent me these socks.

• I wrote almost 40 entries about turning 40.  It was a good exercise.  I like to write, and it was good to focus on gratitude.  Sometimes it's been difficult to be thankful (especially this year).

• Friends sent and gave me the most thoughtful gifts.  Thanks Smiths and Tiff/Tif.

• My nieces called me to sing Happy Birthday

• I am loving early morning walks with Brooke in DC.  We see and hear history.  It's cold, but we talk, talk, talk (just like West Wing).  It's one of my favorite new traditions.

• In early October I went to a Facebook ColorStreet Nail Party and had the best time.  It was so much fun, so I am hosting one myself.  I'm posting live videos like they're going out of style.  Join us.

• Brooke, Mary, Artemia, and Cindy organized an AMAZING, Covid-respecting gathering and parade.  It was incredibly meaningful.  I could cry just typing about it.  There were cards from all over the country (THANK YOU) and a parade of friends from Memorial Baptist, the church that loved and grew me up as a pastor.  Here's the beginning of the party where I thought just a few of us (masked and on a porch!) were dressing up Disney style for some cake.  Donald Duck (AJ) and Ariel (Katie) enjoy some cheese (Katie) and drooling (AJ).

• Brooke says "Let's go outside and take pictures!  The light is good!"  Brooke always says this so we all hop up.  Look at this sweet picture of Brooke and her hubby Jason.  

• A pic with the children of my friends.  Gah.  It's like loving little versions of your favorite people.  Please note Ariel's (Ellie's) dinglehopper (fork).
  

• Then surprise a parade started.  All Ariel knew to do was wave.  So much love from my friends.  Oh my.

• The cars were decorated FABULOUSLY.  This one started the parade.  It was, after all, the one year anniversary of the Nats winning the World Series.  What a joy to see this couple.  I read scripture at their wedding (10?) years ago!

• These friends helped me find a place to live when I moved back to northern Virginia.  We've been through thick and thin.  We also share a love for the Nats.

• These friends are dear to me.  They're gifted with hospitality and humor (among other things).  Randi, Mary, and I took a trip to NYC in November and it was the best.  

• This is when the tears began flowing.  Colleen made a poster with a picture of Pete on it.  We lost Pete not too long ago.  I know he would've been at the parade--yelling something hilarious and wanting to talk politics no doubt.  I miss him.  Adam, Pete's son, is in the car.  He was a senior in the youth group at Memorial Baptist when I started there, and returned to mentor youth after graduating college.  

• The Hernandez family is dear to me, though you cannot tell by this picture.  Jesse dressed as Ursula, so we had to play the part.

• Sally and I served together for 6 years at Memorial Baptist.  I was at the hospital when Elias was born, and Emmelia has come to visit in Scottsville.  I loved serving alongside Sally

• Hannah and Jessica arrived in style--the style of a mermaid appearing outside of a Honda Civic sunroof.  I love it.

• The Hills, Charlotte Benjamin, and others (forgive me if I have forgotten others!) also rolled on by.  It was a gift to see everyone.  My first roommate in Arlington, Andrea Lupo, and her husband Jeff Morrow paraded by too.  I married them a year-and-a-half ago!  More happiness.

• You'll see this picture twice, because the first time I want to highlight the Piñatagram.  It came in the mail and was filled with candy.  GOOD CANDY.  Thanks Kudners.

• Artemia, Sally, and I started at Memorial in 2006.  What a joy to share 14 years of friendship with them.

• Snow White (Mary), Bruno (Jon), Ariel (Ellie), and Belle (Katherine) hosted us.  They made a lovely charcuterie board, and Jon and the girls decorated the back porch.  Everything was perfect.  Mary is such a good person.

• Elsa (Cindy) made the cake, crackers, and cauliflower soup from scratch.  All delicious.  Cindy Schall is one of the best.  Don't forget it.

• Here I am with said cake.  Let me tell you about it:  One white cake layer, one raspberry cake layer, and another white cake layer.  Chocolate mousse held it all together.  The top and sides were buttercream, and dark chocolate dots decorated the top.  Cindy had a Disney printout with my name (!!!) and age on it.  Spectacular.  These people hummed Happy Birthday to me.  Artemia spoke the words.
  

• We went back inside and Brooke had created a video of pictures and kind words from family and friends.  Again, waterworks.  "Brooke!  My best friend!  It's my best friend!"

• Party's Over.  I thought it was 10:00p and it was time to go so I started to leave.  It was 7:50.  I think their love, gifts, and grace were so wonderful I was overwhelmed.  They have teased me mercilessly since (as they should).

• This is a stack of posters and cards from all over the nation.  Again, thanks to my friends I felt the love from so many people.  Thank you, friends.

Thank you friends and family.  Thank you.